I sometimes wake up feeling like I am making a difference

As I’ve tried to catch up on the internet, and the 1000+ articles in my Google Reader, I’ve come across the issue of identity a lot. Two of my favourite Swedish authors, Bodil Malmsten and Jonas Hassen Khemiri, both brought it up in the magnificent literature program Babel (only in Swedish). Bodil Malmsten admitted that her blog-self was a more direct, angrier and bitshier version of herself and that she “in real life” is a coward.

Jonas explained that he often feels that he is three different characters at the same  time, and that these are always with him. This is one reason why his novels often make use of numerous main characters. “No one is one person” he argued. This is important for me in order to accept my inconsistent nature to myself and others. I am a blog person (hello reader), a reader, a boyfriend, a co-worker, a Chelsea-fan, I am childish and old, and I am positive and negative, I sometimes wake up feeling that there is no point in anything, I sometimes wake up feeling like I am making a difference, that I can, in my own small way, contribute to making things, life, better.

And sometimes I just go to work, read the paper, act like you are suppose to in the office, walk home with tired eyes, watch some TV and fall asleep. At least one of my characters finds this despicable. No wonder I often am accused of spending too much time in my own head, but you guys should hear the conversations that goes on in there, wicked.


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